One of the things I was hoping to accomplish this Christmas Break was plug into some new books that I had been wanting to read, but unfortunately had run into the buzzsaw that is reading for school. Thankfully, I have been able to plug into a couple books that have just been phenomonal reading for me. One is called the Truth War by John MacArthur, which focuses on the efforts of the PostModern Emergent Church to speak out against absolute truth, while the other book that I am reading is called UnChristian, written by the President of the Barna Research Group, David Kinnaman, as well as Gabe Lyons, who heads up the Fermi Project. That book was a 3 year research process surrounding how the "UnChristian" world perceives modern day Christianity and the Christians who subscribe to that name.
As I have been reading both books at the same time, I've been struck with looking at the reality of my conversations with those who do not profess the same Christian beliefs that I have. On one hand, when I read the Truth War, I feel the compelling of Scripture to contend for the faith that I believe in, but when I read UnChristian, I become accutely aware from what the research has shown as a very widespread perception in the USA that Christians are considered to be, "unwilling to engage in healthy dialogue, who are just looking to win arguments and convert souls than taking a real interest in caring for somebody with deep needs." In that same section that described alot of people's feelings towards modern day Christianity, the writers wrote about the response that a large portion of the Christian church has had to this perception,
"they respond to outsiders negativity by promoting a less offensive faith. The unpopular parts of Christian teaching are omitted or deemphasized. They hijack the image of Jesus by portraying him as an open-minded, big hearted and never-offended-anyone moral teacher."
As I read the Truth War at the same time, I realize thoroughly how important it is as a Christian to not water down or compromise the central message and tenets of my Christian faith, especially when I am communicating with somebody about my faith. Now, the hard part for me, well, the balancing act is that I know that I need to present the whole truth to somebody when I talk with them about Christianity, but oftentimes I am fighting the perception that I am a close minded, judgemental Christian who doesn't care about the person I'm talking with, but am just concerned with being right.
So, as I write this note today, I'm taking a journey to a place where I haven't been to really in my walk with Jesus. I hope and pray to learn through the two books, as well as through my experiences with other people who don't believe in what I do, how to balance communicating the truth of God's Word and the faith I hold dear, while doing that talking with many who have a wide range of feelings towards the faith that I am talking with them about. I'm excited to learn as I move forward with these new experiences, it's definately going to be different.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Basketball Game of Sin and Life
Galatians 5 vs 16-21-But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
When you get up the college level of basketball, one of the essential activities a team does is watch film. They do it for three main reasons typically, all with the purpose of helping them to win the game. First, you watch film to scout your opponent to see what their tendecies are. Does their big man like to slip or pop out on a screen and roll ?? Does their guard like to back it out and call another play when you present a zone defense vs a man to man ?? These tendecies often lead to the next reason why a team will watch film, which is to discover their opponents strength's and weaknesses. Lastly, once you are able to discover a team's weaknesses and strengths as a team, you can then set up your offense and your defense to try and take advantage of what that team is trying to do.
When I read that passage up above, i don't know why, but I see a basketball game that is going on between sin and those who are trying to live by God's ways. As the passage clearly illustrates, the flesh represents our selfish desires, while those who live by the Spirit of God represent the team that is trying to win the game the right way, through living on a team with God, and who commits to living by biblical fundamentals. I'm sure you've probably never heard or read the analogy that the war going on between the sinful desires of our flesh and the pure and holy desires of God characterized as a basketball game, but the three principles that I talked about above make a lot of sense to me into how we can strive to live according to God's ways and not my own.
First, a basketball team scouts film of their opponent to see their tendencies. Now I know you can't plug in a DVD of all your past sins, but I think you can do a similar function in your mind. Every one of us knows deep down the sins that we commit on a regular basis. It could be lying to someone, it could be looking at something on the computer that you have no business looking at, it could be stealing money from your business, it could be anything, the fact is most of us could instantly remember in our minds the sins that so easily entagle us.
Now, as a person who loves to watch basketball film, the next part is key. Thinking about my sin, I know that I have strengths and weaknesses that lead me to either resist sinning or falling into a sinful lifestyle. Now, thinking from a basketball standpoint, I want you to think about where you are weak. Do you know what kind of triggers lead you to do those sins that you repeatedly do ?? It could be anything, it might be hearing a word, or seeing an image on tv, or maybe it's even a person you hang out with that leads you there, all i want you to think about is what weakness leads you to sin on a regular basis. Now, I know it's hard to admit that you're weak and that your weakness reguarly leads you to sin in particular ways, but I have learned in my walk with God that if you don't admit that you're weak, God's power won't be able to truly live inside you and help you overcome the struggles of your life. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
Now, the last part of doing film work to win a basketball game is taking what you know about yourself and your opponents strengths and weaknesses and crafting a game plan to win the game. Yesterday at service, Pastor Ferrell talked that as a believer, if you don't have a plan to actively combat the struggles of sin in your life and if you're not implementing those principles through the power of God, then you're gonna lose the game per se. For you, now that you know what your weaknesses are, and now that you know that the struggles of sin cannot hold up against the power of God, what are you going to do RIGHT NOW TODAY to not get caught up in your struggles ?? Maybe you need to memorize some Scripture verses that deal with your particular struggle. Maybe you need to seek out a close friend to talk to about your struggles who will walk alongside you and hold you accountable to what you want to do. Maybe you need to pray and seek the face of God for His love and power to overcome this stronghold. Whatever it is, it is vital that if you want to win the basketball game between your flesh and your desires to live by the Spirit of God, you MUST implement your game plan, no matter what the cost is, to win the game, you have to be willing to make the sacrifices to admit that you are weak and need God's help.
I know it's hard, but it's worth it. Jesus says to you who are willing to invest in living by His power in Revelation 2:7-"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God."
When you get up the college level of basketball, one of the essential activities a team does is watch film. They do it for three main reasons typically, all with the purpose of helping them to win the game. First, you watch film to scout your opponent to see what their tendecies are. Does their big man like to slip or pop out on a screen and roll ?? Does their guard like to back it out and call another play when you present a zone defense vs a man to man ?? These tendecies often lead to the next reason why a team will watch film, which is to discover their opponents strength's and weaknesses. Lastly, once you are able to discover a team's weaknesses and strengths as a team, you can then set up your offense and your defense to try and take advantage of what that team is trying to do.
When I read that passage up above, i don't know why, but I see a basketball game that is going on between sin and those who are trying to live by God's ways. As the passage clearly illustrates, the flesh represents our selfish desires, while those who live by the Spirit of God represent the team that is trying to win the game the right way, through living on a team with God, and who commits to living by biblical fundamentals. I'm sure you've probably never heard or read the analogy that the war going on between the sinful desires of our flesh and the pure and holy desires of God characterized as a basketball game, but the three principles that I talked about above make a lot of sense to me into how we can strive to live according to God's ways and not my own.
First, a basketball team scouts film of their opponent to see their tendencies. Now I know you can't plug in a DVD of all your past sins, but I think you can do a similar function in your mind. Every one of us knows deep down the sins that we commit on a regular basis. It could be lying to someone, it could be looking at something on the computer that you have no business looking at, it could be stealing money from your business, it could be anything, the fact is most of us could instantly remember in our minds the sins that so easily entagle us.
Now, as a person who loves to watch basketball film, the next part is key. Thinking about my sin, I know that I have strengths and weaknesses that lead me to either resist sinning or falling into a sinful lifestyle. Now, thinking from a basketball standpoint, I want you to think about where you are weak. Do you know what kind of triggers lead you to do those sins that you repeatedly do ?? It could be anything, it might be hearing a word, or seeing an image on tv, or maybe it's even a person you hang out with that leads you there, all i want you to think about is what weakness leads you to sin on a regular basis. Now, I know it's hard to admit that you're weak and that your weakness reguarly leads you to sin in particular ways, but I have learned in my walk with God that if you don't admit that you're weak, God's power won't be able to truly live inside you and help you overcome the struggles of your life. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
Now, the last part of doing film work to win a basketball game is taking what you know about yourself and your opponents strengths and weaknesses and crafting a game plan to win the game. Yesterday at service, Pastor Ferrell talked that as a believer, if you don't have a plan to actively combat the struggles of sin in your life and if you're not implementing those principles through the power of God, then you're gonna lose the game per se. For you, now that you know what your weaknesses are, and now that you know that the struggles of sin cannot hold up against the power of God, what are you going to do RIGHT NOW TODAY to not get caught up in your struggles ?? Maybe you need to memorize some Scripture verses that deal with your particular struggle. Maybe you need to seek out a close friend to talk to about your struggles who will walk alongside you and hold you accountable to what you want to do. Maybe you need to pray and seek the face of God for His love and power to overcome this stronghold. Whatever it is, it is vital that if you want to win the basketball game between your flesh and your desires to live by the Spirit of God, you MUST implement your game plan, no matter what the cost is, to win the game, you have to be willing to make the sacrifices to admit that you are weak and need God's help.
I know it's hard, but it's worth it. Jesus says to you who are willing to invest in living by His power in Revelation 2:7-"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God."
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
God has a sense of humor and a perfect plan.......
Since Jen and I have gotten married, one of the things that I am daily learning is how to be patient during all circumstances, even the difficult ones. Just a few days before Jen and I left for our trip to San Antonio, I prayed a couple prayers for Jen and I and our marriage. With one prayer, i prayed that God would work His power in us so that we could be more patient with each other and with our circumstances. In addition, I prayed for Him to renew in me a fresh desire to connect with Him, through the Word, through prayer and just in my life. Never would I have thought that God would use a 5 hour airline delay, a rude couple at the airport and two books that I didn't even anticipate getting to read on our trip to San Antonio. Nevertheless, God is supremely in control and I'm not, so, I learned this past 5 day stretch that God's humor is much better than mine, and He always has the perfect plan.
This past Saturday if you haven't heard, turned into a nightmare of a travel day. Jen and I were slated to fly out of Norfolk to Dallas Fort Worth at 6am, then connect to San Antonio and land around 10:30am San Antonio time(1 hour behind us in Virginia.) We arrived at the airport with high hopes and we promptly made our way through check in, customs and security, and still had close to an hour to spare before departure. We boarded our plan as planned, and just as we are getting ready to back out of the terminal, our Captain comes over the radio to tell us there is ice on the wings, and they have to get a de icer truck over to take care of it. Nothing to worry about says the captain, we'll be gone in 15 minutes. As we saw the de icer truck pull up with a gentlemen inside one of those boxes that phone companies use when they are working on phone lines, we all of sudden heard and felt a loud THUD, and then two minutes later, here's the captain, "Uhhhh, apparently we've had some technical issues with the de icer, we gotta get a mechanic to check it out." Long story short, due to operator error, a part of our tail wing was damaged and photos had to be taken and emailed to American Airlines in Tulsa, Oklahoma to determine if the plane was worthy to fly. By the time we took off from Norfolk around 11am, we had gotten a free breakfast, been taken off the plane, and had witnessed a rather odd couple who seemed to be gunning for the rudest airline passengers known to man.
I say all that to tell you this...don't be surpised when God uses random situations to teach you about patience and understanding. I had brought two books with me to read, just some regular stuff, not anticipating I was gonna be able to finish them by delays end, but as luck would have it, I finished them, and knowing that we had a solid layover in St Louis coming back from Texas, as well as some extra time since we were on vaction, I ended up getting two books that were on my wish list for Christmas. One is called the Power of a Praying Husband, and the other is a new book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages of Apology. By the end of the trip, I am halfway done with the Five Love Languages of Apology and I had made some good progress in the Power of a Praying Husband. Want to know the best part ?? With the extra time that we had, Jen and I were able to have several conversations about our marriage that really helped us grow in some areas that we have been needing to for awhile. Are we a perfect couple now who gets everything right and is patient and understanding all the time ?? No way is what I say, but if there's one thing I learned it's this, never doubt that God can use the most random, funniest or weirdest situations to help fulfill your prayers. If you're ever doubting that God's power can't help you with a particular struggle or area of your life, I want to say to you that I am living proof that God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants and it's always what's best for us.
For now, I'm gonna keep reading and keep searching for the power of God to do His thing in my life, in my marriage and in the lives of those I come in contact with. It's a fun ride and I'm enjoying seeing Him more and more each day.
This past Saturday if you haven't heard, turned into a nightmare of a travel day. Jen and I were slated to fly out of Norfolk to Dallas Fort Worth at 6am, then connect to San Antonio and land around 10:30am San Antonio time(1 hour behind us in Virginia.) We arrived at the airport with high hopes and we promptly made our way through check in, customs and security, and still had close to an hour to spare before departure. We boarded our plan as planned, and just as we are getting ready to back out of the terminal, our Captain comes over the radio to tell us there is ice on the wings, and they have to get a de icer truck over to take care of it. Nothing to worry about says the captain, we'll be gone in 15 minutes. As we saw the de icer truck pull up with a gentlemen inside one of those boxes that phone companies use when they are working on phone lines, we all of sudden heard and felt a loud THUD, and then two minutes later, here's the captain, "Uhhhh, apparently we've had some technical issues with the de icer, we gotta get a mechanic to check it out." Long story short, due to operator error, a part of our tail wing was damaged and photos had to be taken and emailed to American Airlines in Tulsa, Oklahoma to determine if the plane was worthy to fly. By the time we took off from Norfolk around 11am, we had gotten a free breakfast, been taken off the plane, and had witnessed a rather odd couple who seemed to be gunning for the rudest airline passengers known to man.
I say all that to tell you this...don't be surpised when God uses random situations to teach you about patience and understanding. I had brought two books with me to read, just some regular stuff, not anticipating I was gonna be able to finish them by delays end, but as luck would have it, I finished them, and knowing that we had a solid layover in St Louis coming back from Texas, as well as some extra time since we were on vaction, I ended up getting two books that were on my wish list for Christmas. One is called the Power of a Praying Husband, and the other is a new book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages of Apology. By the end of the trip, I am halfway done with the Five Love Languages of Apology and I had made some good progress in the Power of a Praying Husband. Want to know the best part ?? With the extra time that we had, Jen and I were able to have several conversations about our marriage that really helped us grow in some areas that we have been needing to for awhile. Are we a perfect couple now who gets everything right and is patient and understanding all the time ?? No way is what I say, but if there's one thing I learned it's this, never doubt that God can use the most random, funniest or weirdest situations to help fulfill your prayers. If you're ever doubting that God's power can't help you with a particular struggle or area of your life, I want to say to you that I am living proof that God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants and it's always what's best for us.
For now, I'm gonna keep reading and keep searching for the power of God to do His thing in my life, in my marriage and in the lives of those I come in contact with. It's a fun ride and I'm enjoying seeing Him more and more each day.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Please pray for my Grandpa John
Several weeks ago Jen and I received some difficult news about my Grandpa John. He had been having some serious physical symptoms for months that had led to a pretty severe weight loss, and ended with a couple weeks ago having to be rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery to have his gallbladder removed. After the surgery he was placed in the ICU, and we were praying for a swift recovery. However, that has proven not to happen.
My parents are in Lynchburg this weekend visiting Jen and I. Last night at dinner, my mom shared some more news that she got just a day or two ago about my Grandpa John's situation. Apparently, John is still in the ICU. He's scheduled to get out next week, however, there has been a very serious development. John apparently has full blown dementia and he is unable to speak or understand basically anything. There is very little movement on his part on a daily basis, and he is not functioning physically as a normal adult.
The hard part for my family with this is my Memere(Grandma) is looking to put John into a nursing home, which will severly drain his financial resources. In addition, Memere can't drive anymore, and she has depended on John for years to drive her around, so, she is now having to use public transportation to get to the hospital and she has no life aside from being there all day.
There is much much more to the situation, too much to share in one email, I just wanted to give you guys an update and ask you to pray specifically for several things:
1. Pray for a miracle that God will lift John's dementia
2. If it's not God's will for the dementia to go, pray that a good nursing home can be found for John
3. Pray for Memere with her physical needs, one of my aunts is trying to talk to her about going into an assisted living community where it will be alot easier on her to do the things that she likes to do, however, there are some barriers that are in the way of that right now, so, please pray that something gets worked out.
4. Pray for wisdom for Memere and my Aunt Annette as they are making medical care decisions related to John
5. Pray for the peace of God that surpasses all understanding for everybody involved, this is just extremely hard on Memere and many others in my family in a variety of ways, pray that we will receive God's grace and comfort each and everyday.
My family and I truly appreciate your prayers guys with this, I will add updates as we hear more. We are trusting in the Lord and His Hand, and if it's time for John to go, we understand and accept that it's his time.
My parents are in Lynchburg this weekend visiting Jen and I. Last night at dinner, my mom shared some more news that she got just a day or two ago about my Grandpa John's situation. Apparently, John is still in the ICU. He's scheduled to get out next week, however, there has been a very serious development. John apparently has full blown dementia and he is unable to speak or understand basically anything. There is very little movement on his part on a daily basis, and he is not functioning physically as a normal adult.
The hard part for my family with this is my Memere(Grandma) is looking to put John into a nursing home, which will severly drain his financial resources. In addition, Memere can't drive anymore, and she has depended on John for years to drive her around, so, she is now having to use public transportation to get to the hospital and she has no life aside from being there all day.
There is much much more to the situation, too much to share in one email, I just wanted to give you guys an update and ask you to pray specifically for several things:
1. Pray for a miracle that God will lift John's dementia
2. If it's not God's will for the dementia to go, pray that a good nursing home can be found for John
3. Pray for Memere with her physical needs, one of my aunts is trying to talk to her about going into an assisted living community where it will be alot easier on her to do the things that she likes to do, however, there are some barriers that are in the way of that right now, so, please pray that something gets worked out.
4. Pray for wisdom for Memere and my Aunt Annette as they are making medical care decisions related to John
5. Pray for the peace of God that surpasses all understanding for everybody involved, this is just extremely hard on Memere and many others in my family in a variety of ways, pray that we will receive God's grace and comfort each and everyday.
My family and I truly appreciate your prayers guys with this, I will add updates as we hear more. We are trusting in the Lord and His Hand, and if it's time for John to go, we understand and accept that it's his time.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Uncover me O Lord
Yesterday I was talking with a good friend of mine at LU about the worship CD/DVD that he and his band recorded. The title track of the CD is called Uncover. This blog is not going to be one of the easiest blogs that I've written, just because of the questions that must be asked in it. As I was listening to the song yesterday and today, I was "uncovered" in my heart by the Lord in response to a passage that I had read yesterday in Romans Chapter 3. It was a hard day yesterday to go through, simply because when I was shown in all it's gritty reality just how dirty I am compared to a holy and loving God, it gave me no other option than to let God uncover the motives of my heart and realize how deep a rescue I needed when He saved me, and how much rescue I need on a daily basis as He saves me over and over from my selfish motivations. I wanted to share the song with you guys and some observations that I made from the Romans 3 passage:
Romans 3 vs 1-4-"Then what advantage has the Jew? Or what is the value of circumcision? Much in every way. To begin with, the Jews were entrusted with the oracles of God. What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God? By no means! Let God be true though every one were a liar, as it is written,"That you may be justified in your words, and prevail when you are judged."
When I read that passage, I found myself as a Christian living in modern America, are we any different than the Jews talked about in those verses ? The Jews back then considered themselves a spirtually elite group of people, and as verse 2 points out, they were entrusted with the very words of God to them, and that knowledge, coupled with their sin, made them a very arrogant, spiritually elite group of people. I ask, are we any different today ? We pour millions of dollars into things that don't matter, but when it comes to doing the right things in life, we're arrogant about it, in the way we talk to people who don't know Christ, as well as to others in the church who we deem to be "less a Christian". That broke my heart yesterday when I thought about how so many of us profess to worship the Lord and that we want to follow Him in our lives, but yet in my own life, and I'm sure in many others, the attitude of our heart and our actions just don't line up. I think God knows that too, because He puts His finger on that attitude of our hearts in the next set of verses.
11-18-"as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one." "Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive." "The venom of asps is under their lips." "Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness." "Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known." "There is no fear of God before their eyes."
As i reflect on that portion of the passage, I'm reminded how so many times I'm no different from alot of LU students. It's generally accepted around here that there are alot of students here who don't want to be here, either because they don't like the rules, or their parents sent them here, or for whatever reason, it's easy to see the fruits of that attitude of that heart. I see and hear so much frustration, bitterness, anger and many other feelings on a regular basis that's it's so easy in my own life to not reflect on who God is. It's much easier alot of times to be just like many others, just disinterested in God, unmotivated, apatheic, and just trying to pass the time without really growing in their faith. I'm not offering that as an excuse, but I see the parallel again with the Jewish people talked about in this passage. They put on the church face and professed to be God-honoring Jews, but in all actuality they were putting on the facade that 1000s of us Christians put on every single day as we take more and more control of our lives. Thankfully, God has an antidote for that in the last passage:
23-26 "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus."
As much as so many of us want to avoid it, the grace of God is real. Even though we were so dirty before a holy God, HE took the initiative to make a way for our hearts to be revealed to us to see how much we need rescue. As much as the holiness of God shines forth in the verses preceding, the grace of God comes through loud and clear in that last passage, but sadly, so many of us don't want to accept it. We'd rather be the typical Christian, who is so stressed out and frustrated and unhappy and unfulfilled that they don't even take the time to be "uncovered" before our God to get the healing and grace that we need.
The point I think of these thoughts I'm putting down is not to beat you up or to beat me up and just be left to be downtrodden and depressed. As real as it is how much we need rescuing on a daily basis from ourselves, the fact remains that God is ALWAYS there, everyday, ready to show you how much you need Him and how much He loves you and wants to save you and have intimate fellowship with Him. The hard part is that we have to allow Him to "uncover" the motives of our heart in order to truly accept that grace and healing, but hey, would you rather reveal yourself to Him and feel the best love you'll ever feel, or, will you be like countless Christians, who just go on and on with the facade everyday, never operating at peak capacity, never enjoying the love that you were meant to enjoy for all eternity. If you want to, listen to the words of the song Uncover, it's a perfect prayer for someone who is crying out to God to be rescued and loved on like the newborn child that you are to God.
Uncover
Break me, take me, make me new. Broken, surrendered, before You. When you meet me here I am found, in all my weakness. my gifts alone can't make a sound, that You are pleased with. The light of your presence reveals my heart. It's there in that moment, I'm set apart. Holy Father, uncover me. You, the truth that sets me free. Break my pride 'till all I see, is all of You uncovering me. Your gaze has brought me to my knees. Lord, I am broken, my heart alone is all you see, exposed and open. The light of your presence reveals my heart. It's there in that moment, I'm set apart. Holy Father, uncover me. You, the truth that sets me free. Break my pride 'till all I see, is all of You uncovering me.
Romans 3 vs 1-4-"Then what advantage has the Jew? Or what is the value of circumcision? Much in every way. To begin with, the Jews were entrusted with the oracles of God. What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God? By no means! Let God be true though every one were a liar, as it is written,"That you may be justified in your words, and prevail when you are judged."
When I read that passage, I found myself as a Christian living in modern America, are we any different than the Jews talked about in those verses ? The Jews back then considered themselves a spirtually elite group of people, and as verse 2 points out, they were entrusted with the very words of God to them, and that knowledge, coupled with their sin, made them a very arrogant, spiritually elite group of people. I ask, are we any different today ? We pour millions of dollars into things that don't matter, but when it comes to doing the right things in life, we're arrogant about it, in the way we talk to people who don't know Christ, as well as to others in the church who we deem to be "less a Christian". That broke my heart yesterday when I thought about how so many of us profess to worship the Lord and that we want to follow Him in our lives, but yet in my own life, and I'm sure in many others, the attitude of our heart and our actions just don't line up. I think God knows that too, because He puts His finger on that attitude of our hearts in the next set of verses.
11-18-"as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one." "Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive." "The venom of asps is under their lips." "Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness." "Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known." "There is no fear of God before their eyes."
As i reflect on that portion of the passage, I'm reminded how so many times I'm no different from alot of LU students. It's generally accepted around here that there are alot of students here who don't want to be here, either because they don't like the rules, or their parents sent them here, or for whatever reason, it's easy to see the fruits of that attitude of that heart. I see and hear so much frustration, bitterness, anger and many other feelings on a regular basis that's it's so easy in my own life to not reflect on who God is. It's much easier alot of times to be just like many others, just disinterested in God, unmotivated, apatheic, and just trying to pass the time without really growing in their faith. I'm not offering that as an excuse, but I see the parallel again with the Jewish people talked about in this passage. They put on the church face and professed to be God-honoring Jews, but in all actuality they were putting on the facade that 1000s of us Christians put on every single day as we take more and more control of our lives. Thankfully, God has an antidote for that in the last passage:
23-26 "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus."
As much as so many of us want to avoid it, the grace of God is real. Even though we were so dirty before a holy God, HE took the initiative to make a way for our hearts to be revealed to us to see how much we need rescue. As much as the holiness of God shines forth in the verses preceding, the grace of God comes through loud and clear in that last passage, but sadly, so many of us don't want to accept it. We'd rather be the typical Christian, who is so stressed out and frustrated and unhappy and unfulfilled that they don't even take the time to be "uncovered" before our God to get the healing and grace that we need.
The point I think of these thoughts I'm putting down is not to beat you up or to beat me up and just be left to be downtrodden and depressed. As real as it is how much we need rescuing on a daily basis from ourselves, the fact remains that God is ALWAYS there, everyday, ready to show you how much you need Him and how much He loves you and wants to save you and have intimate fellowship with Him. The hard part is that we have to allow Him to "uncover" the motives of our heart in order to truly accept that grace and healing, but hey, would you rather reveal yourself to Him and feel the best love you'll ever feel, or, will you be like countless Christians, who just go on and on with the facade everyday, never operating at peak capacity, never enjoying the love that you were meant to enjoy for all eternity. If you want to, listen to the words of the song Uncover, it's a perfect prayer for someone who is crying out to God to be rescued and loved on like the newborn child that you are to God.
Uncover
Break me, take me, make me new. Broken, surrendered, before You. When you meet me here I am found, in all my weakness. my gifts alone can't make a sound, that You are pleased with. The light of your presence reveals my heart. It's there in that moment, I'm set apart. Holy Father, uncover me. You, the truth that sets me free. Break my pride 'till all I see, is all of You uncovering me. Your gaze has brought me to my knees. Lord, I am broken, my heart alone is all you see, exposed and open. The light of your presence reveals my heart. It's there in that moment, I'm set apart. Holy Father, uncover me. You, the truth that sets me free. Break my pride 'till all I see, is all of You uncovering me.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Define being judgemental...
The past couple of months I've been dealing with a very difficult question regarding an area of daily Christian living that is very controversial. I find myself asking myself the question all the time, "What's the line between being considered judgemental by somebody and sharing the Word of God with that person ?" It has not been an easy journey, I've had to examine so many of the beliefs that I hold very close concerning issues like homosexuality, accountability and a few others. A few months ago I got into a spirited discussion with a couple people that I know about the issue of our beliefs about love, grace and acceptance. As somebody who wholeheartedly believes that the Word of God is completely inspired and infallible and is the primary source of what I believe and why I believe in Jesus Christ, I hold to a personal standard that if somebody believes something, and if it doesn't line up with what the Bible says about that topic(in this situation it was concerning how a Christian receives guidance from the Lord), then that belief isn't right. I realize that by holding that belief set, I've been called a judgemental, fundamentalist Christian who doesn't understand how to treat somebody with love, grace and acceptance. Never mind that the love, grace and acceptance that these people say I lacked in my life was nothing more than glorified tolerance, which, I have come to learn is not just an expectation to respect a differing viewpoint, but that I have to agree with what they believe, even if I don't.
It is that situation that caused me to start a process of soul searching and examining God's Word to learn how I can truly love other people the biblical way, not the way the world wants me to, which is, to me, nothing more than an expectation for me to shut my mouth and not have a differing viewpoint from somebody when we talk about core issues of the Christian faith, namely, is it judgemental for me to speak to somebody from the Bible that they are a sinner and need to repent to receive God's grace ? It hasn't been an easy process, and I am still searching for that tension of living in grace and love while not sacrificing the standards of the Word of God.One of the main points of examination in this process was how somebody tried to use Matthew Chapter 7 vs 1-4 to make me feel guilty for calling out an unbiblical belief. In that passage Jesus talks about the plank in your own eye and how we shouldn't be judgemental towards somebody else because we have our own sin to deal with. It seems to me like alot of people use that verse as a means to stop you from saying something about sin that is clearly present in their life. The tension that I struggle with this issue is this, if, as a believer, I sin on a daily basis, both wilfully and unwittingly, does that mean that I am never allowed to say to someone that what they believe is sinful or unbiblical ? Because that's what it feels like when i come across somebody who tosses that verse out to me when I express what I perceive to be a biblical opinion. Where's the line with being judgemental and speaking from the truth of the Word of God to somebody ?
The other hard part of this issue for me was so many Christians toss out so casually how we should love and accept people for who they are, and that it's judgemental to say to somebody who doesn't know Christ as Lord and Savior that they are a sinner and need God's grace. I know that love and acceptance should be a daily part of the relationships that I have with others, but I'm not willing to be accepting the way the world expects me to accept somebody, which is nothing more than saying that living a sinful lifestyle is perfectly ok and we shouldn't comment on the way somebody chooses to live their life. When did it become an act of judgement and not an act of grace to tell somebody that they are a sinner and need to be saved ? I could go on and on with this issue, but I'm going to stop here. I welcome your comments on this blog.
It is that situation that caused me to start a process of soul searching and examining God's Word to learn how I can truly love other people the biblical way, not the way the world wants me to, which is, to me, nothing more than an expectation for me to shut my mouth and not have a differing viewpoint from somebody when we talk about core issues of the Christian faith, namely, is it judgemental for me to speak to somebody from the Bible that they are a sinner and need to repent to receive God's grace ? It hasn't been an easy process, and I am still searching for that tension of living in grace and love while not sacrificing the standards of the Word of God.One of the main points of examination in this process was how somebody tried to use Matthew Chapter 7 vs 1-4 to make me feel guilty for calling out an unbiblical belief. In that passage Jesus talks about the plank in your own eye and how we shouldn't be judgemental towards somebody else because we have our own sin to deal with. It seems to me like alot of people use that verse as a means to stop you from saying something about sin that is clearly present in their life. The tension that I struggle with this issue is this, if, as a believer, I sin on a daily basis, both wilfully and unwittingly, does that mean that I am never allowed to say to someone that what they believe is sinful or unbiblical ? Because that's what it feels like when i come across somebody who tosses that verse out to me when I express what I perceive to be a biblical opinion. Where's the line with being judgemental and speaking from the truth of the Word of God to somebody ?
The other hard part of this issue for me was so many Christians toss out so casually how we should love and accept people for who they are, and that it's judgemental to say to somebody who doesn't know Christ as Lord and Savior that they are a sinner and need God's grace. I know that love and acceptance should be a daily part of the relationships that I have with others, but I'm not willing to be accepting the way the world expects me to accept somebody, which is nothing more than saying that living a sinful lifestyle is perfectly ok and we shouldn't comment on the way somebody chooses to live their life. When did it become an act of judgement and not an act of grace to tell somebody that they are a sinner and need to be saved ? I could go on and on with this issue, but I'm going to stop here. I welcome your comments on this blog.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I do not manage stress well sometimes....
Yesterday was without a doubt one of the worst days i've ever had in terms of managing the stress that came my way. I had three different issues that came up in regards to a couple of my classes, things that really irked my nerves a great deal. Luckily I had some good things happen as well that made things a little easier to bear, but overall, Jen will tell you, I was a little "attitudy" as i like to call it.
I know that it was the wrong thing to do and I know that I was a little short or irritated in my tone of voice towards a couple of people yesterday. Even though I knew that it was the wrong thing to do, I found myself having one of those days and so, in my flesh, I just had some attitude and was rough around the edges. This morning i've been doing homework for a solid couple hours before my first class today and I got to thinking about Paul from the Bible. I'm nursing my way through Romans right now and today I had one of those thoughts that came across the mental radar that I just know came from God. All morning, even though I've been getting homework done, all I could think about was Paul, being in jail as he wrote these words in Romans Chapter 1 vs 9-10-"For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of His Son, that without ceasing I mention you, always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God's will I may now at last succeed in coming to you." For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you."
That thought that I told you about that was going through my head this morning ? Here it is, "Why I am complaining about a couple things that happenned in class, when Paul was IN JAIL and all he could think about was getting out of jail to be with his fellow Christians and give to them ?" I look at Paul's example of unselfishness and I just see my weakness in big, bold glaring neon lights. I thank my Lord for revealing that it's not about me all the time, as much as I like to think it is.
I know that it was the wrong thing to do and I know that I was a little short or irritated in my tone of voice towards a couple of people yesterday. Even though I knew that it was the wrong thing to do, I found myself having one of those days and so, in my flesh, I just had some attitude and was rough around the edges. This morning i've been doing homework for a solid couple hours before my first class today and I got to thinking about Paul from the Bible. I'm nursing my way through Romans right now and today I had one of those thoughts that came across the mental radar that I just know came from God. All morning, even though I've been getting homework done, all I could think about was Paul, being in jail as he wrote these words in Romans Chapter 1 vs 9-10-"For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of His Son, that without ceasing I mention you, always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God's will I may now at last succeed in coming to you." For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you."
That thought that I told you about that was going through my head this morning ? Here it is, "Why I am complaining about a couple things that happenned in class, when Paul was IN JAIL and all he could think about was getting out of jail to be with his fellow Christians and give to them ?" I look at Paul's example of unselfishness and I just see my weakness in big, bold glaring neon lights. I thank my Lord for revealing that it's not about me all the time, as much as I like to think it is.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Romans 1 vs 21-22 and Being Satisfied with your life
So, i started reading Romans 1 today for my quiet time, as I had shared with Jen that i wanted to take the time to really go through Romans slowly and let it sink in. As i got to verses 21-22, I got to thinking about my life and how I view it as opposed to how others view it. Verses 21-22 states, "For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things."
One of my favorite authors is John Piper. As anybody who has read Piper knows, he's pretty much got a one track focus when it comes to his writings, which is basically that in order for us to glorify God, we must first be supremely satisfied in who He is, and it is in that satisfaction that will create a strong desire to glorify God in everyway. Having read "Don't Waste Your Life" over a year ago, I was struck by that central tenet of Piper's teachings about being satisfied in God and the life He gives you in order to truly glorify God.
One of the things that makes me laugh sometimes is how people that I know will think that my life is pretty exciting. When I talk with relatives or friends, they always tell me how great it is to hear about all the new and exciting things that are happenning in Jen and I's life together. For me, it makes me laugh because exciting is not exactly the word I would use sometimes to describe how I feel about my life. Not that i'm bored, oh no, not in the slighest, being married to Jennifer has brought me some really awesome experiences and I wouldn't trade being married to her for anything, it's just when I look at my life, for some reason, I just think about what I gotta do to get through a day. A typical day in my mind oftentimes centers around working for 8 hours, then getting Jen from work, cooking dinner, doing homework for 3 or so hours, then watching the Food Network for a couple hours, then sleep and it's back the next day. As I thought more about what Piper was saying and reflecting on that Romans passage, I got to thinking, is it sin to think that my life is ordinary, or is the just the reality of day to day living ?
Looking at the people that were being described in the Romans passage, I got to thinking about what would cause them to have such a poor attitude, which ultimately leads to some really perverted sexual lifestyles being adopted. Whenever I have read that passage in the past, I always thought about how it was just the nature of their sinful heart that drove them to be selfish and make those decisions that were not honoring to God. Today however, I started to realize that just as much as it was the sinful nature of those people's hearts that led them to sin, I thought that it could be extrapolated that those people just weren't satisfied with some aspect of their life, which led them to want to do something more exciting, or in this case, much more perverted. Thinking about the Roman culture, it was built on excess and world domination, which to me shows a severe lack of thankfulness when it comes to the life that they already had. Year after year Romans feasted on the tales of the accomplishments of their Roman Army abroad as they took over country after country. Within the walls of Rome, all kinds of selfish behavior reigned, from prostitution to shady business practices to gluttony of food and wine. Thinking about what got the Romans to that point, I see so clearly now that its roots probably came at an earlier point in their life when they stopped being satisfied with what they had, and started lusting after more.
It is that attitude that worries me that I could have the beginnings of now. It's hard for me to think of my life as exciting sometimes, especially when i'm staring the gritty realities of being a full time husband, student and part time worker in the face. It's that attitude that I don't want to go too far, and I thank Piper for what he taught me about how I can glorify God. Even though I'm not jet setting across the globe and even though I have to clip coupons to help save money, my life still has alot going for it, and even if it isn't exciting to me sometimes, it's still a life worth thanking God for, because after all, He's the one who gives it to me on a daily basis.
One of my favorite authors is John Piper. As anybody who has read Piper knows, he's pretty much got a one track focus when it comes to his writings, which is basically that in order for us to glorify God, we must first be supremely satisfied in who He is, and it is in that satisfaction that will create a strong desire to glorify God in everyway. Having read "Don't Waste Your Life" over a year ago, I was struck by that central tenet of Piper's teachings about being satisfied in God and the life He gives you in order to truly glorify God.
One of the things that makes me laugh sometimes is how people that I know will think that my life is pretty exciting. When I talk with relatives or friends, they always tell me how great it is to hear about all the new and exciting things that are happenning in Jen and I's life together. For me, it makes me laugh because exciting is not exactly the word I would use sometimes to describe how I feel about my life. Not that i'm bored, oh no, not in the slighest, being married to Jennifer has brought me some really awesome experiences and I wouldn't trade being married to her for anything, it's just when I look at my life, for some reason, I just think about what I gotta do to get through a day. A typical day in my mind oftentimes centers around working for 8 hours, then getting Jen from work, cooking dinner, doing homework for 3 or so hours, then watching the Food Network for a couple hours, then sleep and it's back the next day. As I thought more about what Piper was saying and reflecting on that Romans passage, I got to thinking, is it sin to think that my life is ordinary, or is the just the reality of day to day living ?
Looking at the people that were being described in the Romans passage, I got to thinking about what would cause them to have such a poor attitude, which ultimately leads to some really perverted sexual lifestyles being adopted. Whenever I have read that passage in the past, I always thought about how it was just the nature of their sinful heart that drove them to be selfish and make those decisions that were not honoring to God. Today however, I started to realize that just as much as it was the sinful nature of those people's hearts that led them to sin, I thought that it could be extrapolated that those people just weren't satisfied with some aspect of their life, which led them to want to do something more exciting, or in this case, much more perverted. Thinking about the Roman culture, it was built on excess and world domination, which to me shows a severe lack of thankfulness when it comes to the life that they already had. Year after year Romans feasted on the tales of the accomplishments of their Roman Army abroad as they took over country after country. Within the walls of Rome, all kinds of selfish behavior reigned, from prostitution to shady business practices to gluttony of food and wine. Thinking about what got the Romans to that point, I see so clearly now that its roots probably came at an earlier point in their life when they stopped being satisfied with what they had, and started lusting after more.
It is that attitude that worries me that I could have the beginnings of now. It's hard for me to think of my life as exciting sometimes, especially when i'm staring the gritty realities of being a full time husband, student and part time worker in the face. It's that attitude that I don't want to go too far, and I thank Piper for what he taught me about how I can glorify God. Even though I'm not jet setting across the globe and even though I have to clip coupons to help save money, my life still has alot going for it, and even if it isn't exciting to me sometimes, it's still a life worth thanking God for, because after all, He's the one who gives it to me on a daily basis.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Living your dreams
I can't tell you how many times since Jennifer and I got married we have answered the question, "So, what are you two planning on doing once you graduate from Liberty University ?" I'm not saying that i'm mad at that, but it's so funny to me sometimes the reactions that we get when we share that we are still praying about what the Lord wants us to do with our life together once we graduate, and that we are looking at a wide variety of options. Some people are very supportive when we share that, they go out of their way to encourage us and tell us how great it is that we are being patient and waiting on God's timing. Others will take the different route and they will ask us for an in depth, how do i say it, i guess detailed discussion on the different options we are looking at and why we think that might be a good idea for us once we graduate. Neither side is bad and i am not coming down on anybody for how they react to what Jennifer and I are going through when it comes to this decision. Where it gets interesting is when Jen and I take the opportunity to examine some of the options that we are praying about and what comes from those discussions.
Just this morning i told Jen about an opportunity that i started doing some preliminary research on. As Jen will tell you, ever since she first knew me and especially now, working for a Men's Basketball Team, it has been a dream of mine to work in sports in some avenue. It's always been hard for me to really state out loud how passionate i am about that dream, just because i know that working in sports is not the easiest career path. Oftentimes there are long hours, sometimes the pay isn't great and every now and then there are people you work with, whether they be coaches or otherwise, who are just flat out difficult to work with and really suck the joy out of what you are doing. What makes me so passionate about working in sports is not just the fact that i am sports junkie and have been raised watching such teams as Larry Bird's Celtics, or Big Papi's Red Sox or Tom Brady's Patriots, but it's the fact that i can see so clearly a ministry that God could work through the many connections that one makes when you work in the sports world. It is that passion that caused me this week to seek out some info on an Masters Degree in Sports Management from the esteemed San Diego State University.
Talking with Jen this morning, i laid out to her the info that the Head of the Degree Program shared with me about the program. Whether it be the fact that they have set up the degree program in an accelerated way, so that students can finish the coursework in a year, or the professional agreement they have with the San Diego Padres and other sports teams for students to become interns and other positions, or the fact that i have a connection to the Head Basketball Coach there through my Head Coach here at Liberty, there are just a TON of positives about the opportunity. As i was sharing with Jen this morning over breakfast what i thought about the program, i thought for sure that she would react the way most people in my life would probably react, with lots of questions and doubts and possibly fears, which is understandable and natural. Instead, Jennifer's reaction proved one of the biggest reasons why i married her and love her to this day....she was so encouraging of me and she actually told me that she thinks it's awesome that i want to live out my dreams, instead of being like most people, who just resign themselves to doing the same thing day after day, week after week, year after year.
Wrapping this up, i'm reminded of something that Jennifer and I went through when we first came to Lynchburg after we got married. Before we left, there was alot of discouragement that came our way from people in our lives, who thought that it was too huge a risk to move to a new city and do what we are doing. As time has gone on, we see so clearly how even though we took several LARGE risks coming to Lynchburg, it was absolutely the right call to make, and God has validated it every step of the way. As i reflect on that, i think about the example of Peter when he stepped out of the boat and walked on water towards Jesus. For those brief moments before his faith caved in and he went into the water, Peter got to feel what living on faith and risk in Christ really feels like. Having done that for a year now with Jennifer, i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that taking risks sometimes is the right thing to do in your walk with God and i am so thankful that the taste we have gotten of living that life of risk has born out in us a desire to take some risks and see where God wants to take us. I know that everybody has a different path when it comes to them and God, and not everybody is meant to take regular risks like we do, but if there's one thing i know, its this....if you have the same feeling in your spirit and in your heart as i do, a yearning to see more and experience more of what God has for you, then LISTEN AND GO if God is truly telling you to....having lived it now, it's worth it, in so many ways to take the risk and live your dreams.
Just this morning i told Jen about an opportunity that i started doing some preliminary research on. As Jen will tell you, ever since she first knew me and especially now, working for a Men's Basketball Team, it has been a dream of mine to work in sports in some avenue. It's always been hard for me to really state out loud how passionate i am about that dream, just because i know that working in sports is not the easiest career path. Oftentimes there are long hours, sometimes the pay isn't great and every now and then there are people you work with, whether they be coaches or otherwise, who are just flat out difficult to work with and really suck the joy out of what you are doing. What makes me so passionate about working in sports is not just the fact that i am sports junkie and have been raised watching such teams as Larry Bird's Celtics, or Big Papi's Red Sox or Tom Brady's Patriots, but it's the fact that i can see so clearly a ministry that God could work through the many connections that one makes when you work in the sports world. It is that passion that caused me this week to seek out some info on an Masters Degree in Sports Management from the esteemed San Diego State University.
Talking with Jen this morning, i laid out to her the info that the Head of the Degree Program shared with me about the program. Whether it be the fact that they have set up the degree program in an accelerated way, so that students can finish the coursework in a year, or the professional agreement they have with the San Diego Padres and other sports teams for students to become interns and other positions, or the fact that i have a connection to the Head Basketball Coach there through my Head Coach here at Liberty, there are just a TON of positives about the opportunity. As i was sharing with Jen this morning over breakfast what i thought about the program, i thought for sure that she would react the way most people in my life would probably react, with lots of questions and doubts and possibly fears, which is understandable and natural. Instead, Jennifer's reaction proved one of the biggest reasons why i married her and love her to this day....she was so encouraging of me and she actually told me that she thinks it's awesome that i want to live out my dreams, instead of being like most people, who just resign themselves to doing the same thing day after day, week after week, year after year.
Wrapping this up, i'm reminded of something that Jennifer and I went through when we first came to Lynchburg after we got married. Before we left, there was alot of discouragement that came our way from people in our lives, who thought that it was too huge a risk to move to a new city and do what we are doing. As time has gone on, we see so clearly how even though we took several LARGE risks coming to Lynchburg, it was absolutely the right call to make, and God has validated it every step of the way. As i reflect on that, i think about the example of Peter when he stepped out of the boat and walked on water towards Jesus. For those brief moments before his faith caved in and he went into the water, Peter got to feel what living on faith and risk in Christ really feels like. Having done that for a year now with Jennifer, i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that taking risks sometimes is the right thing to do in your walk with God and i am so thankful that the taste we have gotten of living that life of risk has born out in us a desire to take some risks and see where God wants to take us. I know that everybody has a different path when it comes to them and God, and not everybody is meant to take regular risks like we do, but if there's one thing i know, its this....if you have the same feeling in your spirit and in your heart as i do, a yearning to see more and experience more of what God has for you, then LISTEN AND GO if God is truly telling you to....having lived it now, it's worth it, in so many ways to take the risk and live your dreams.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Financial Aid
As helpful as Financial Aid is and can be, right now, it is literally chafing my nerves and patience. Going into now my 4th semester at Liberty as a Residential Student in the Fall, i can say with certainty that EVERY semester, multiple times, there has been an issue with some aspect of my financial aid, as well as Jennifer's. Whether it be a loan being released onto my account that i did not request, or the money the school gives to me and Jen for her working on campus not arriving in a timely fashion, there has been a myriad of issues and I am just so tired of it. How is it possible that a school can be so disorganized to the point that when it comes to a simple matter like getting the free money that the school offers to staff members and their spouses literally takes, by the completion of everything, FOUR DIFFERENT DEPARTMENTS to get the money onto your account ? Even today, as i go to the Campus Bookstore to try and get my books for the Fall Semester, i had to go through 3 different departments to get the money allocated to the Bookstore Account so that i can buy the books. Top it off, there is a completely separate issue that i am dealing with in regards to my student account, that even though unrelated, might have an impact on the aid that has been sent and is supposedly available at the Bookstore effective today.
You know how you talk with people who have a particular testimony, like an area of struggle that they went through for awhile, and now, they are able to encourage others who are going through the same struggle ? I am firmly convinced that God has some sort of plan for Jen and I when it comes to dealing with all the Financial Aid issues that we have dealt with. That's the only plausible reasoning that i can play in my mind, especially considering how many different issues there has been since we started attending Liberty last year. I guess the old adage is true, when you pray with the Lord for patience and ability to understand Him more clearly, He really does put you in positions to earn that patience.
The other thing that was interesting this morning that i think directly impacts this struggle is something i heard from a Christian writer/speaker named John Bevere. He was on a Christian Talk Show talking about forgiveness and bitterness. One of the things that he shared that was really convicting was how we really hold ourselves back from the life God has for us when we hold onto bitterness and frustration towards others, especially those you believe to have offended you in the past. Looking at it, i could get bitter and frustrated against some of the people in the various departments at Liberty that have created issues related to Jen and I's Financial Aid, as well as people that i come in contact with in life or on my job, but you know what, it's just not worth it. Like it or not, struggles are what makes one stronger, so, i'm just gonna keep praying that the Lord gives me His strength to deal with these irritations in an effective manner.
You know how you talk with people who have a particular testimony, like an area of struggle that they went through for awhile, and now, they are able to encourage others who are going through the same struggle ? I am firmly convinced that God has some sort of plan for Jen and I when it comes to dealing with all the Financial Aid issues that we have dealt with. That's the only plausible reasoning that i can play in my mind, especially considering how many different issues there has been since we started attending Liberty last year. I guess the old adage is true, when you pray with the Lord for patience and ability to understand Him more clearly, He really does put you in positions to earn that patience.
The other thing that was interesting this morning that i think directly impacts this struggle is something i heard from a Christian writer/speaker named John Bevere. He was on a Christian Talk Show talking about forgiveness and bitterness. One of the things that he shared that was really convicting was how we really hold ourselves back from the life God has for us when we hold onto bitterness and frustration towards others, especially those you believe to have offended you in the past. Looking at it, i could get bitter and frustrated against some of the people in the various departments at Liberty that have created issues related to Jen and I's Financial Aid, as well as people that i come in contact with in life or on my job, but you know what, it's just not worth it. Like it or not, struggles are what makes one stronger, so, i'm just gonna keep praying that the Lord gives me His strength to deal with these irritations in an effective manner.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Patience
I'm what i call a part time patient person. This isn't exactly a new revelation to those who know me, especially my wife, but I have noticed that in some situations I have the ability to just roll with the circumstances, and othertimes i get all heated and puffed up and indignant and a whole range of qualities that characterize my impatience or frustration with those circumstances. Even today, this morning, i got the crockpot out to cook Jen and I's dinner, it's a new recipe of Pasta Fagioli soup. As i was putting the different veggies and spices in there, and then when i set the crockpot on low for 8 hours, i wanted to eat it right then and there, mostly because I LOVE that style of soup and i wanted it NOW. Why is that ? Why can i be so patient in some instances, and then other times i literally want to scream because i'm so irritated or frustrated ?
Yesterday Jen got a call from a good friend of hers. I was in the other room and i could overhear some of what my wife was saying, which was centering around, at that particular junction, about why God has brought us to Lynchburg and why we made the choices that we did to come here. As i listened to her talk about how coming here has opened new doors for us potentially in terms of what we are going to do after we graduate from Liberty, i found myself getting quite impatient that i had to deal with all this homework from my summer school courses and that i had another year of being a full time student before i could even think about pursuing the next step in Jen and I's life.
I know that the Bible says to give thanks in ALL circumstances, but yet again i find my impatient side trying to rear it's ugly head. I am thankful that i have the opportunity to finish my education here for free and I am thankful for everything that Jen and I have, but yet, oftentimes i find myself dreaming of wanting to work for a basketball team somewhere, or becoming a professional journalist, or being on the mission field. Why is it so hard to be patient when i know that's what i need to be doing ? I think the answer lies in paying attention to what Jen and I are doing right now. If we don't focus on the schoolwork and building our marriage with the time we have now, when else are we gonna do it ? I see it so clearly that there is still some preparation to go through, i just gotta trust the Lord to help me stay patient and focused on the preparation He's taking us through. It won't be easy, but it's the right thing to do.
Yesterday Jen got a call from a good friend of hers. I was in the other room and i could overhear some of what my wife was saying, which was centering around, at that particular junction, about why God has brought us to Lynchburg and why we made the choices that we did to come here. As i listened to her talk about how coming here has opened new doors for us potentially in terms of what we are going to do after we graduate from Liberty, i found myself getting quite impatient that i had to deal with all this homework from my summer school courses and that i had another year of being a full time student before i could even think about pursuing the next step in Jen and I's life.
I know that the Bible says to give thanks in ALL circumstances, but yet again i find my impatient side trying to rear it's ugly head. I am thankful that i have the opportunity to finish my education here for free and I am thankful for everything that Jen and I have, but yet, oftentimes i find myself dreaming of wanting to work for a basketball team somewhere, or becoming a professional journalist, or being on the mission field. Why is it so hard to be patient when i know that's what i need to be doing ? I think the answer lies in paying attention to what Jen and I are doing right now. If we don't focus on the schoolwork and building our marriage with the time we have now, when else are we gonna do it ? I see it so clearly that there is still some preparation to go through, i just gotta trust the Lord to help me stay patient and focused on the preparation He's taking us through. It won't be easy, but it's the right thing to do.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Dealing with irritating people
Why is it that we always seem to have someone or a group of people in our lives who just get under our skin ? Whether they express some views that you just absolutely disagree with, or maybe it's just the sound of their voice that gets to you, i find it so....well...frustrating that i have to deal with people like that. This morning i even find myself hovering at a low roar over something that this guy said to me who i thought we were friends in the past, but past actions and words that have been spoken between us have literally made my blood boil, and then today he has the nerve to say something just to push my buttons. Why is that, why do Christians who profess to love God, still work to get under each other's skin so much ?
I'm firmly convinced that at some point in my Christian walk, i prayed a prayer to God for patience and compassion to overflow in my life towards others, and now, i feel like He's giving me the experiences to do that. Oftentimes when i deal with somebody who i perceive to be irritating to me, i usually just become very forceful in the way i speak to them and i "let it be known" that I was very displeased, or, in some cases, offended by what they said in that moment. Oftentimes this leads to arguments, or at the least, raised tension for awhile, and then it just leads to more and more and more. This in and of itself is extremely irritating to me, but yet time after time, i continously get irritated with the same people who keep on saying things that i just disagree with or feel personally offended by.
It's that track record, to be honest, really scares me. I mean, i know that i shouldn't get all worked up sometimes over what people say, but as i've told Jen before when we talk about this issue that I have and she's trying to help me with it, i am NOT the type of person who tolerates people who are condescending or rude to me due to some past history that i have moved on from. I know in my heart that i don't want to react the way i do most of the time, and i know it's prideful, but i also know that it is the natural inclination of my heart to stand my ground, build a defense, and do whatever it takes to make somebody who i perceive doesn't care about my feelings and thoughts, feel really really bad for what they said. I've gotten really good at having that type of defense, and you know what, it's just sad to me. I know it's pride and I know that Proverbs says that Pride goes before the fall, but this is one of those struggles of my Christian walk that i really gotta deal with. I'm gonna pray that God would help me get over this stronghold that is in my life, as frustrating and irritating as i know it's probably gonna be to do that, it's the right thing to do.
I'm firmly convinced that at some point in my Christian walk, i prayed a prayer to God for patience and compassion to overflow in my life towards others, and now, i feel like He's giving me the experiences to do that. Oftentimes when i deal with somebody who i perceive to be irritating to me, i usually just become very forceful in the way i speak to them and i "let it be known" that I was very displeased, or, in some cases, offended by what they said in that moment. Oftentimes this leads to arguments, or at the least, raised tension for awhile, and then it just leads to more and more and more. This in and of itself is extremely irritating to me, but yet time after time, i continously get irritated with the same people who keep on saying things that i just disagree with or feel personally offended by.
It's that track record, to be honest, really scares me. I mean, i know that i shouldn't get all worked up sometimes over what people say, but as i've told Jen before when we talk about this issue that I have and she's trying to help me with it, i am NOT the type of person who tolerates people who are condescending or rude to me due to some past history that i have moved on from. I know in my heart that i don't want to react the way i do most of the time, and i know it's prideful, but i also know that it is the natural inclination of my heart to stand my ground, build a defense, and do whatever it takes to make somebody who i perceive doesn't care about my feelings and thoughts, feel really really bad for what they said. I've gotten really good at having that type of defense, and you know what, it's just sad to me. I know it's pride and I know that Proverbs says that Pride goes before the fall, but this is one of those struggles of my Christian walk that i really gotta deal with. I'm gonna pray that God would help me get over this stronghold that is in my life, as frustrating and irritating as i know it's probably gonna be to do that, it's the right thing to do.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Doing what you love to do
Today i got to thinking about Jen and I and the jobs that we work here at Liberty University. Seeing Jennifer go through the stress that she goes through on a daily basis working where she works, i'll admit, it's really hard for me because I really do enjoy and love my job at the Men's Basketball Office, which oftentimes leads me to feel very guilty because my wife clearly has the more difficulty to deal with when it comes to her job. Even today, i've been working on a project for one of the Assistant Coaches that is allowing me to utilize some of my creative abilities working with Microsoft Word. As i sit here, pondering why God would allow me to work a job that i absolutely love and why Jen has to work a job that is most definately not something she wants to pursue for the rest of her life, i thought about Jesus, and how He was a carpenter for many years before His public ministry started.
As i thought more and more today about Jen and I and how our jobs relate to what Jesus did for many years as a carpenter, i saw pretty clearly how even though Jennifer and I are in two different places when it comes to how we feel about our jobs, I think we are both going through what Jesus went through when He was working as a carpenter. I know that the Word of God doesn't say much about the period between when Jesus was 12 years old and He went to the Synagogue in Jerusalem and taught and when He started His earthly ministry, but I think the key to thinking about how Jesus experienced His life before His earthly ministry can be found in Hebrews 4 vs 15-"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to symphathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet was without sin."
Thinking about that passage, i realized that Jesus's temptation was not solely the account from Matthew 4, where the devil tempted Him 3 different times in the wilderness. No, i think that Jesus was tempted with the same struggles and feelings that you and I go through everyday with our jobs. Jesus i'm sure was tempted to get irritated and stressed out with a high workload, because after all, I'm sure Jesus was the best carpenter around and probably did alot of work in His community. I'm sure He felt the enjoyment that comes from doing a good job for someone and receiving their appreciation for a job well done. I'm sure He felt tired and weary at the end of a long day or work week, just like we do. I'm sure He felt temptation to have a negative attitude towards people that He came in contact with through His job, maybe somebody who was a jerk to Him with how He was doing a particular job. Looking at all those examples, it helped me come to a better understanding as to why Jennifer and I have, so far, had pretty different work experiences here at LU.
I've come to the realization that when it comes to work, each of us has our own path that has been assigned to us by the Lord. Ephesians 2 vs 10 states, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God has prepared beforehand, so that we may walk in them." Looking at Jennifer and I, we're both working the jobs that God has ordained for us to have at this given point in time. Even though it's hard to accept sometimes, right now, Jennifer is meant to experience what she is experiencing and I am meant to experience what I do when i work my job. I don't think God is punishing Jen and I don't think He is pouring out a special blessing on me for some reason, I just get the impression that at some points in our lives, we're going to be working in a job that brings us a great deal of satisfaction and enjoyment and othertimes we'll be working a job that brings much stress and irritation. Either way, looking to Jesus helps me to accept His strength and endurance when the times are tough and it also helps me to keep success and enjoyment on the job in the proper perspective.
As i thought more and more today about Jen and I and how our jobs relate to what Jesus did for many years as a carpenter, i saw pretty clearly how even though Jennifer and I are in two different places when it comes to how we feel about our jobs, I think we are both going through what Jesus went through when He was working as a carpenter. I know that the Word of God doesn't say much about the period between when Jesus was 12 years old and He went to the Synagogue in Jerusalem and taught and when He started His earthly ministry, but I think the key to thinking about how Jesus experienced His life before His earthly ministry can be found in Hebrews 4 vs 15-"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to symphathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet was without sin."
Thinking about that passage, i realized that Jesus's temptation was not solely the account from Matthew 4, where the devil tempted Him 3 different times in the wilderness. No, i think that Jesus was tempted with the same struggles and feelings that you and I go through everyday with our jobs. Jesus i'm sure was tempted to get irritated and stressed out with a high workload, because after all, I'm sure Jesus was the best carpenter around and probably did alot of work in His community. I'm sure He felt the enjoyment that comes from doing a good job for someone and receiving their appreciation for a job well done. I'm sure He felt tired and weary at the end of a long day or work week, just like we do. I'm sure He felt temptation to have a negative attitude towards people that He came in contact with through His job, maybe somebody who was a jerk to Him with how He was doing a particular job. Looking at all those examples, it helped me come to a better understanding as to why Jennifer and I have, so far, had pretty different work experiences here at LU.
I've come to the realization that when it comes to work, each of us has our own path that has been assigned to us by the Lord. Ephesians 2 vs 10 states, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God has prepared beforehand, so that we may walk in them." Looking at Jennifer and I, we're both working the jobs that God has ordained for us to have at this given point in time. Even though it's hard to accept sometimes, right now, Jennifer is meant to experience what she is experiencing and I am meant to experience what I do when i work my job. I don't think God is punishing Jen and I don't think He is pouring out a special blessing on me for some reason, I just get the impression that at some points in our lives, we're going to be working in a job that brings us a great deal of satisfaction and enjoyment and othertimes we'll be working a job that brings much stress and irritation. Either way, looking to Jesus helps me to accept His strength and endurance when the times are tough and it also helps me to keep success and enjoyment on the job in the proper perspective.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Why are we so different ???
I got to thinking today about compromise and why Jen and I oftentimes want completely different things at the same moment. There are alot of nights where my motivation centers around cranking out homework for 2-3 hours and Jen wants to bake brownies or sit and play a boardgame. Or, even better example, when the weekend comes, i'm the one who's focus is on getting the responsibilities done, like the laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the apartment, and whatever other errands need to be done over that 48 hour period, while Jen would be perfectly content to take a 4 hour nap and hang out all day. I'm not being critical at all, trust me, I just find it worth examining as to why two people who are supposedly one flesh in the eyes of the Lord can have two totally different drives and things that they want to do.
Thinking back to our pre-marriage counseling, i remember something that the husband and wife who mentored us told us in relationship to compatability between Jen and I. They told us, and i'm paraphrasing here, "That compromise is everything, and afterwhile you'll find yourselves wanting to think more and more about the other person's needs at the moment that they need them." Now, after a year of marriage, it's pretty obvious to me that oftentimes my needs and Jen's needs DRASTICALLY differ sometimes. Now, i'm not using that as an excuse to not try and serve Jen and be there for her, and i definately know that Jen has gone out of her way to be supportive of what i want plenty of times, it's just that it seems that a year of marriage has caused the two of us to have those certain way of doing things, that ends up being much different from what the other person wants.
I know that marriage isn't supposed to be easy, i understand completely that when you are meshing two different types of people into one place, it can create all kinds of influences, both positive and negative. Are Jen and I meant to be like many other couples around the world who do compromise in alot of ways and who genuinely try to take care of their partner, but still end up having totally different ways of doing things ?? I know that I have learned that sometimes one can learn from the other partner's way of doing things, but is it perfectly normal and ok for their to be a difference sometimes in what the other person wants ?
Thinking back to our pre-marriage counseling, i remember something that the husband and wife who mentored us told us in relationship to compatability between Jen and I. They told us, and i'm paraphrasing here, "That compromise is everything, and afterwhile you'll find yourselves wanting to think more and more about the other person's needs at the moment that they need them." Now, after a year of marriage, it's pretty obvious to me that oftentimes my needs and Jen's needs DRASTICALLY differ sometimes. Now, i'm not using that as an excuse to not try and serve Jen and be there for her, and i definately know that Jen has gone out of her way to be supportive of what i want plenty of times, it's just that it seems that a year of marriage has caused the two of us to have those certain way of doing things, that ends up being much different from what the other person wants.
I know that marriage isn't supposed to be easy, i understand completely that when you are meshing two different types of people into one place, it can create all kinds of influences, both positive and negative. Are Jen and I meant to be like many other couples around the world who do compromise in alot of ways and who genuinely try to take care of their partner, but still end up having totally different ways of doing things ?? I know that I have learned that sometimes one can learn from the other partner's way of doing things, but is it perfectly normal and ok for their to be a difference sometimes in what the other person wants ?
A place for my other thoughts
Seeing my wife Jennifer setting up her own blog on this new website, i thought to myself about making one of my own apart from the Facebook one that i do. Thinking about this blog, i think, like my wife, that i'm going to use this blog from the standpoint of processing different things that are happenning in my life currently, stuff that usually i don't put on my Facebook page, where i usually do stuff centered around articles that i read and maybe a Bible devotional or two.
I don't really have to introduce myself because for those who will be reading this blog, ya'll know me already. To give some insight into why I titled my blog, Complicated and Passionate, i have to give credit for the inspiration to my wife. Seeing Jennifer's blog and how she's using it as a place to kinda process different emotions and things that she is experiencing and feeling in her life, i'm reminded that i really don't do that on a regular basis. Herein lies the title, Complicated and Passionate. For those who know me, you know that i am a very driven person. I have a tendency to try and narrow my focus in life on a few very important things and i usually put ALOT of energy into those things. Whether it be my marriage or schoolwork or working at the Men's Basketball Office, i'm known as a grinder, the type of guy who puts his nose to the grindstone and gets the job done, no matter what. Even in my marriage, looking at Jen's post from her previous blog, i know that she is hoping to have some relaxation time this weekend, while I on the other hand, already am thinking about the multiple loads of laundry that has to be done, and the grocery shopping and the homework that needs to be finished. I'm not sharing that to be critical of Jen, oh no, not at all, but rather to serve as an illustration of why i think i am complicated and passionate.
I think that's enough for now, i have a tendency to really ramble quite a bit when i actually take the time to examine my thoughts, i think that's why i thank God that blogs are around, simply because they give me a forum to express all the different stuff going on in my head and in my life. I hope you enjoy this, i know i'm looking forward to what's gonna come from this.
I don't really have to introduce myself because for those who will be reading this blog, ya'll know me already. To give some insight into why I titled my blog, Complicated and Passionate, i have to give credit for the inspiration to my wife. Seeing Jennifer's blog and how she's using it as a place to kinda process different emotions and things that she is experiencing and feeling in her life, i'm reminded that i really don't do that on a regular basis. Herein lies the title, Complicated and Passionate. For those who know me, you know that i am a very driven person. I have a tendency to try and narrow my focus in life on a few very important things and i usually put ALOT of energy into those things. Whether it be my marriage or schoolwork or working at the Men's Basketball Office, i'm known as a grinder, the type of guy who puts his nose to the grindstone and gets the job done, no matter what. Even in my marriage, looking at Jen's post from her previous blog, i know that she is hoping to have some relaxation time this weekend, while I on the other hand, already am thinking about the multiple loads of laundry that has to be done, and the grocery shopping and the homework that needs to be finished. I'm not sharing that to be critical of Jen, oh no, not at all, but rather to serve as an illustration of why i think i am complicated and passionate.
I think that's enough for now, i have a tendency to really ramble quite a bit when i actually take the time to examine my thoughts, i think that's why i thank God that blogs are around, simply because they give me a forum to express all the different stuff going on in my head and in my life. I hope you enjoy this, i know i'm looking forward to what's gonna come from this.
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