Why is it that we always seem to have someone or a group of people in our lives who just get under our skin ? Whether they express some views that you just absolutely disagree with, or maybe it's just the sound of their voice that gets to you, i find it so....well...frustrating that i have to deal with people like that. This morning i even find myself hovering at a low roar over something that this guy said to me who i thought we were friends in the past, but past actions and words that have been spoken between us have literally made my blood boil, and then today he has the nerve to say something just to push my buttons. Why is that, why do Christians who profess to love God, still work to get under each other's skin so much ?
I'm firmly convinced that at some point in my Christian walk, i prayed a prayer to God for patience and compassion to overflow in my life towards others, and now, i feel like He's giving me the experiences to do that. Oftentimes when i deal with somebody who i perceive to be irritating to me, i usually just become very forceful in the way i speak to them and i "let it be known" that I was very displeased, or, in some cases, offended by what they said in that moment. Oftentimes this leads to arguments, or at the least, raised tension for awhile, and then it just leads to more and more and more. This in and of itself is extremely irritating to me, but yet time after time, i continously get irritated with the same people who keep on saying things that i just disagree with or feel personally offended by.
It's that track record, to be honest, really scares me. I mean, i know that i shouldn't get all worked up sometimes over what people say, but as i've told Jen before when we talk about this issue that I have and she's trying to help me with it, i am NOT the type of person who tolerates people who are condescending or rude to me due to some past history that i have moved on from. I know in my heart that i don't want to react the way i do most of the time, and i know it's prideful, but i also know that it is the natural inclination of my heart to stand my ground, build a defense, and do whatever it takes to make somebody who i perceive doesn't care about my feelings and thoughts, feel really really bad for what they said. I've gotten really good at having that type of defense, and you know what, it's just sad to me. I know it's pride and I know that Proverbs says that Pride goes before the fall, but this is one of those struggles of my Christian walk that i really gotta deal with. I'm gonna pray that God would help me get over this stronghold that is in my life, as frustrating and irritating as i know it's probably gonna be to do that, it's the right thing to do.
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3 comments:
I think its great that you want to face the frustrating parts of your personality. We all have those weeknesses in us, but not everyone is willing to work on change. I think its great that you want to do that. I'll be praying for you sweetie.
I have trouble in this area myself. Ask Jen is she remembers the Wiersbe book on Phillipians--Be Joyful. Dr. Wiersbe spent a good piece of the book talking about "joy stealers" and, wouldn't you know, people top the list. Wiersbe likens Phillipans to a "Christian psychology" book--the mind is referenced something like 16 times--and he says if we practice "The single mind", "the secure mind" and one other mind set I can't seem to remember right now, we are better able to, well, Be Joyful and immune to the joy stealers. It's pretty tough stuff--very convicting. I can hook you up with the book if you want to read it.
Cindy,
That sounds great, i'd definately be interested in reading that book, would you want to mail it to Lynchburg for me, we're not gonna be in Hampton for awhile.
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