Yesterday was without a doubt one of the worst days i've ever had in terms of managing the stress that came my way. I had three different issues that came up in regards to a couple of my classes, things that really irked my nerves a great deal. Luckily I had some good things happen as well that made things a little easier to bear, but overall, Jen will tell you, I was a little "attitudy" as i like to call it.
I know that it was the wrong thing to do and I know that I was a little short or irritated in my tone of voice towards a couple of people yesterday. Even though I knew that it was the wrong thing to do, I found myself having one of those days and so, in my flesh, I just had some attitude and was rough around the edges. This morning i've been doing homework for a solid couple hours before my first class today and I got to thinking about Paul from the Bible. I'm nursing my way through Romans right now and today I had one of those thoughts that came across the mental radar that I just know came from God. All morning, even though I've been getting homework done, all I could think about was Paul, being in jail as he wrote these words in Romans Chapter 1 vs 9-10-"For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of His Son, that without ceasing I mention you, always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God's will I may now at last succeed in coming to you." For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you."
That thought that I told you about that was going through my head this morning ? Here it is, "Why I am complaining about a couple things that happenned in class, when Paul was IN JAIL and all he could think about was getting out of jail to be with his fellow Christians and give to them ?" I look at Paul's example of unselfishness and I just see my weakness in big, bold glaring neon lights. I thank my Lord for revealing that it's not about me all the time, as much as I like to think it is.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Romans 1 vs 21-22 and Being Satisfied with your life
So, i started reading Romans 1 today for my quiet time, as I had shared with Jen that i wanted to take the time to really go through Romans slowly and let it sink in. As i got to verses 21-22, I got to thinking about my life and how I view it as opposed to how others view it. Verses 21-22 states, "For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things."
One of my favorite authors is John Piper. As anybody who has read Piper knows, he's pretty much got a one track focus when it comes to his writings, which is basically that in order for us to glorify God, we must first be supremely satisfied in who He is, and it is in that satisfaction that will create a strong desire to glorify God in everyway. Having read "Don't Waste Your Life" over a year ago, I was struck by that central tenet of Piper's teachings about being satisfied in God and the life He gives you in order to truly glorify God.
One of the things that makes me laugh sometimes is how people that I know will think that my life is pretty exciting. When I talk with relatives or friends, they always tell me how great it is to hear about all the new and exciting things that are happenning in Jen and I's life together. For me, it makes me laugh because exciting is not exactly the word I would use sometimes to describe how I feel about my life. Not that i'm bored, oh no, not in the slighest, being married to Jennifer has brought me some really awesome experiences and I wouldn't trade being married to her for anything, it's just when I look at my life, for some reason, I just think about what I gotta do to get through a day. A typical day in my mind oftentimes centers around working for 8 hours, then getting Jen from work, cooking dinner, doing homework for 3 or so hours, then watching the Food Network for a couple hours, then sleep and it's back the next day. As I thought more about what Piper was saying and reflecting on that Romans passage, I got to thinking, is it sin to think that my life is ordinary, or is the just the reality of day to day living ?
Looking at the people that were being described in the Romans passage, I got to thinking about what would cause them to have such a poor attitude, which ultimately leads to some really perverted sexual lifestyles being adopted. Whenever I have read that passage in the past, I always thought about how it was just the nature of their sinful heart that drove them to be selfish and make those decisions that were not honoring to God. Today however, I started to realize that just as much as it was the sinful nature of those people's hearts that led them to sin, I thought that it could be extrapolated that those people just weren't satisfied with some aspect of their life, which led them to want to do something more exciting, or in this case, much more perverted. Thinking about the Roman culture, it was built on excess and world domination, which to me shows a severe lack of thankfulness when it comes to the life that they already had. Year after year Romans feasted on the tales of the accomplishments of their Roman Army abroad as they took over country after country. Within the walls of Rome, all kinds of selfish behavior reigned, from prostitution to shady business practices to gluttony of food and wine. Thinking about what got the Romans to that point, I see so clearly now that its roots probably came at an earlier point in their life when they stopped being satisfied with what they had, and started lusting after more.
It is that attitude that worries me that I could have the beginnings of now. It's hard for me to think of my life as exciting sometimes, especially when i'm staring the gritty realities of being a full time husband, student and part time worker in the face. It's that attitude that I don't want to go too far, and I thank Piper for what he taught me about how I can glorify God. Even though I'm not jet setting across the globe and even though I have to clip coupons to help save money, my life still has alot going for it, and even if it isn't exciting to me sometimes, it's still a life worth thanking God for, because after all, He's the one who gives it to me on a daily basis.
One of my favorite authors is John Piper. As anybody who has read Piper knows, he's pretty much got a one track focus when it comes to his writings, which is basically that in order for us to glorify God, we must first be supremely satisfied in who He is, and it is in that satisfaction that will create a strong desire to glorify God in everyway. Having read "Don't Waste Your Life" over a year ago, I was struck by that central tenet of Piper's teachings about being satisfied in God and the life He gives you in order to truly glorify God.
One of the things that makes me laugh sometimes is how people that I know will think that my life is pretty exciting. When I talk with relatives or friends, they always tell me how great it is to hear about all the new and exciting things that are happenning in Jen and I's life together. For me, it makes me laugh because exciting is not exactly the word I would use sometimes to describe how I feel about my life. Not that i'm bored, oh no, not in the slighest, being married to Jennifer has brought me some really awesome experiences and I wouldn't trade being married to her for anything, it's just when I look at my life, for some reason, I just think about what I gotta do to get through a day. A typical day in my mind oftentimes centers around working for 8 hours, then getting Jen from work, cooking dinner, doing homework for 3 or so hours, then watching the Food Network for a couple hours, then sleep and it's back the next day. As I thought more about what Piper was saying and reflecting on that Romans passage, I got to thinking, is it sin to think that my life is ordinary, or is the just the reality of day to day living ?
Looking at the people that were being described in the Romans passage, I got to thinking about what would cause them to have such a poor attitude, which ultimately leads to some really perverted sexual lifestyles being adopted. Whenever I have read that passage in the past, I always thought about how it was just the nature of their sinful heart that drove them to be selfish and make those decisions that were not honoring to God. Today however, I started to realize that just as much as it was the sinful nature of those people's hearts that led them to sin, I thought that it could be extrapolated that those people just weren't satisfied with some aspect of their life, which led them to want to do something more exciting, or in this case, much more perverted. Thinking about the Roman culture, it was built on excess and world domination, which to me shows a severe lack of thankfulness when it comes to the life that they already had. Year after year Romans feasted on the tales of the accomplishments of their Roman Army abroad as they took over country after country. Within the walls of Rome, all kinds of selfish behavior reigned, from prostitution to shady business practices to gluttony of food and wine. Thinking about what got the Romans to that point, I see so clearly now that its roots probably came at an earlier point in their life when they stopped being satisfied with what they had, and started lusting after more.
It is that attitude that worries me that I could have the beginnings of now. It's hard for me to think of my life as exciting sometimes, especially when i'm staring the gritty realities of being a full time husband, student and part time worker in the face. It's that attitude that I don't want to go too far, and I thank Piper for what he taught me about how I can glorify God. Even though I'm not jet setting across the globe and even though I have to clip coupons to help save money, my life still has alot going for it, and even if it isn't exciting to me sometimes, it's still a life worth thanking God for, because after all, He's the one who gives it to me on a daily basis.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Living your dreams
I can't tell you how many times since Jennifer and I got married we have answered the question, "So, what are you two planning on doing once you graduate from Liberty University ?" I'm not saying that i'm mad at that, but it's so funny to me sometimes the reactions that we get when we share that we are still praying about what the Lord wants us to do with our life together once we graduate, and that we are looking at a wide variety of options. Some people are very supportive when we share that, they go out of their way to encourage us and tell us how great it is that we are being patient and waiting on God's timing. Others will take the different route and they will ask us for an in depth, how do i say it, i guess detailed discussion on the different options we are looking at and why we think that might be a good idea for us once we graduate. Neither side is bad and i am not coming down on anybody for how they react to what Jennifer and I are going through when it comes to this decision. Where it gets interesting is when Jen and I take the opportunity to examine some of the options that we are praying about and what comes from those discussions.
Just this morning i told Jen about an opportunity that i started doing some preliminary research on. As Jen will tell you, ever since she first knew me and especially now, working for a Men's Basketball Team, it has been a dream of mine to work in sports in some avenue. It's always been hard for me to really state out loud how passionate i am about that dream, just because i know that working in sports is not the easiest career path. Oftentimes there are long hours, sometimes the pay isn't great and every now and then there are people you work with, whether they be coaches or otherwise, who are just flat out difficult to work with and really suck the joy out of what you are doing. What makes me so passionate about working in sports is not just the fact that i am sports junkie and have been raised watching such teams as Larry Bird's Celtics, or Big Papi's Red Sox or Tom Brady's Patriots, but it's the fact that i can see so clearly a ministry that God could work through the many connections that one makes when you work in the sports world. It is that passion that caused me this week to seek out some info on an Masters Degree in Sports Management from the esteemed San Diego State University.
Talking with Jen this morning, i laid out to her the info that the Head of the Degree Program shared with me about the program. Whether it be the fact that they have set up the degree program in an accelerated way, so that students can finish the coursework in a year, or the professional agreement they have with the San Diego Padres and other sports teams for students to become interns and other positions, or the fact that i have a connection to the Head Basketball Coach there through my Head Coach here at Liberty, there are just a TON of positives about the opportunity. As i was sharing with Jen this morning over breakfast what i thought about the program, i thought for sure that she would react the way most people in my life would probably react, with lots of questions and doubts and possibly fears, which is understandable and natural. Instead, Jennifer's reaction proved one of the biggest reasons why i married her and love her to this day....she was so encouraging of me and she actually told me that she thinks it's awesome that i want to live out my dreams, instead of being like most people, who just resign themselves to doing the same thing day after day, week after week, year after year.
Wrapping this up, i'm reminded of something that Jennifer and I went through when we first came to Lynchburg after we got married. Before we left, there was alot of discouragement that came our way from people in our lives, who thought that it was too huge a risk to move to a new city and do what we are doing. As time has gone on, we see so clearly how even though we took several LARGE risks coming to Lynchburg, it was absolutely the right call to make, and God has validated it every step of the way. As i reflect on that, i think about the example of Peter when he stepped out of the boat and walked on water towards Jesus. For those brief moments before his faith caved in and he went into the water, Peter got to feel what living on faith and risk in Christ really feels like. Having done that for a year now with Jennifer, i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that taking risks sometimes is the right thing to do in your walk with God and i am so thankful that the taste we have gotten of living that life of risk has born out in us a desire to take some risks and see where God wants to take us. I know that everybody has a different path when it comes to them and God, and not everybody is meant to take regular risks like we do, but if there's one thing i know, its this....if you have the same feeling in your spirit and in your heart as i do, a yearning to see more and experience more of what God has for you, then LISTEN AND GO if God is truly telling you to....having lived it now, it's worth it, in so many ways to take the risk and live your dreams.
Just this morning i told Jen about an opportunity that i started doing some preliminary research on. As Jen will tell you, ever since she first knew me and especially now, working for a Men's Basketball Team, it has been a dream of mine to work in sports in some avenue. It's always been hard for me to really state out loud how passionate i am about that dream, just because i know that working in sports is not the easiest career path. Oftentimes there are long hours, sometimes the pay isn't great and every now and then there are people you work with, whether they be coaches or otherwise, who are just flat out difficult to work with and really suck the joy out of what you are doing. What makes me so passionate about working in sports is not just the fact that i am sports junkie and have been raised watching such teams as Larry Bird's Celtics, or Big Papi's Red Sox or Tom Brady's Patriots, but it's the fact that i can see so clearly a ministry that God could work through the many connections that one makes when you work in the sports world. It is that passion that caused me this week to seek out some info on an Masters Degree in Sports Management from the esteemed San Diego State University.
Talking with Jen this morning, i laid out to her the info that the Head of the Degree Program shared with me about the program. Whether it be the fact that they have set up the degree program in an accelerated way, so that students can finish the coursework in a year, or the professional agreement they have with the San Diego Padres and other sports teams for students to become interns and other positions, or the fact that i have a connection to the Head Basketball Coach there through my Head Coach here at Liberty, there are just a TON of positives about the opportunity. As i was sharing with Jen this morning over breakfast what i thought about the program, i thought for sure that she would react the way most people in my life would probably react, with lots of questions and doubts and possibly fears, which is understandable and natural. Instead, Jennifer's reaction proved one of the biggest reasons why i married her and love her to this day....she was so encouraging of me and she actually told me that she thinks it's awesome that i want to live out my dreams, instead of being like most people, who just resign themselves to doing the same thing day after day, week after week, year after year.
Wrapping this up, i'm reminded of something that Jennifer and I went through when we first came to Lynchburg after we got married. Before we left, there was alot of discouragement that came our way from people in our lives, who thought that it was too huge a risk to move to a new city and do what we are doing. As time has gone on, we see so clearly how even though we took several LARGE risks coming to Lynchburg, it was absolutely the right call to make, and God has validated it every step of the way. As i reflect on that, i think about the example of Peter when he stepped out of the boat and walked on water towards Jesus. For those brief moments before his faith caved in and he went into the water, Peter got to feel what living on faith and risk in Christ really feels like. Having done that for a year now with Jennifer, i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that taking risks sometimes is the right thing to do in your walk with God and i am so thankful that the taste we have gotten of living that life of risk has born out in us a desire to take some risks and see where God wants to take us. I know that everybody has a different path when it comes to them and God, and not everybody is meant to take regular risks like we do, but if there's one thing i know, its this....if you have the same feeling in your spirit and in your heart as i do, a yearning to see more and experience more of what God has for you, then LISTEN AND GO if God is truly telling you to....having lived it now, it's worth it, in so many ways to take the risk and live your dreams.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Financial Aid
As helpful as Financial Aid is and can be, right now, it is literally chafing my nerves and patience. Going into now my 4th semester at Liberty as a Residential Student in the Fall, i can say with certainty that EVERY semester, multiple times, there has been an issue with some aspect of my financial aid, as well as Jennifer's. Whether it be a loan being released onto my account that i did not request, or the money the school gives to me and Jen for her working on campus not arriving in a timely fashion, there has been a myriad of issues and I am just so tired of it. How is it possible that a school can be so disorganized to the point that when it comes to a simple matter like getting the free money that the school offers to staff members and their spouses literally takes, by the completion of everything, FOUR DIFFERENT DEPARTMENTS to get the money onto your account ? Even today, as i go to the Campus Bookstore to try and get my books for the Fall Semester, i had to go through 3 different departments to get the money allocated to the Bookstore Account so that i can buy the books. Top it off, there is a completely separate issue that i am dealing with in regards to my student account, that even though unrelated, might have an impact on the aid that has been sent and is supposedly available at the Bookstore effective today.
You know how you talk with people who have a particular testimony, like an area of struggle that they went through for awhile, and now, they are able to encourage others who are going through the same struggle ? I am firmly convinced that God has some sort of plan for Jen and I when it comes to dealing with all the Financial Aid issues that we have dealt with. That's the only plausible reasoning that i can play in my mind, especially considering how many different issues there has been since we started attending Liberty last year. I guess the old adage is true, when you pray with the Lord for patience and ability to understand Him more clearly, He really does put you in positions to earn that patience.
The other thing that was interesting this morning that i think directly impacts this struggle is something i heard from a Christian writer/speaker named John Bevere. He was on a Christian Talk Show talking about forgiveness and bitterness. One of the things that he shared that was really convicting was how we really hold ourselves back from the life God has for us when we hold onto bitterness and frustration towards others, especially those you believe to have offended you in the past. Looking at it, i could get bitter and frustrated against some of the people in the various departments at Liberty that have created issues related to Jen and I's Financial Aid, as well as people that i come in contact with in life or on my job, but you know what, it's just not worth it. Like it or not, struggles are what makes one stronger, so, i'm just gonna keep praying that the Lord gives me His strength to deal with these irritations in an effective manner.
You know how you talk with people who have a particular testimony, like an area of struggle that they went through for awhile, and now, they are able to encourage others who are going through the same struggle ? I am firmly convinced that God has some sort of plan for Jen and I when it comes to dealing with all the Financial Aid issues that we have dealt with. That's the only plausible reasoning that i can play in my mind, especially considering how many different issues there has been since we started attending Liberty last year. I guess the old adage is true, when you pray with the Lord for patience and ability to understand Him more clearly, He really does put you in positions to earn that patience.
The other thing that was interesting this morning that i think directly impacts this struggle is something i heard from a Christian writer/speaker named John Bevere. He was on a Christian Talk Show talking about forgiveness and bitterness. One of the things that he shared that was really convicting was how we really hold ourselves back from the life God has for us when we hold onto bitterness and frustration towards others, especially those you believe to have offended you in the past. Looking at it, i could get bitter and frustrated against some of the people in the various departments at Liberty that have created issues related to Jen and I's Financial Aid, as well as people that i come in contact with in life or on my job, but you know what, it's just not worth it. Like it or not, struggles are what makes one stronger, so, i'm just gonna keep praying that the Lord gives me His strength to deal with these irritations in an effective manner.
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